On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
