chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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