She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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