Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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