he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
