Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
