She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
