Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
