awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
