all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
