they need to just BURY HIM!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
