What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
