She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
