Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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