Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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