she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
