I must be too annoying 4 u.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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