He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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