i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We need to rekindle our bromance
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
