Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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