She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
