it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
