Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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