why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
two words: eviction party
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
