the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
