please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
