i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize