so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
