so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
