It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
