"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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