My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
