The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
