Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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