Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
