I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Say something about gay babies.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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