Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My nipple is on Facebook.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
