Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
