You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize