Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
