I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
