i think i have herpe
just one?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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