Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
