I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
