Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
well you can't waste a boner
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
