You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
