I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
