just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
