You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
