Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we're making bets on your personal life
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
