you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I touched a dick in church today
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
