I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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