Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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