Pants 0. Shit 1.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
