what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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