I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
